Honestly I don’t know where this blog is going so, let’s throw it in the dumpster also LOL. Holidays have never meant much to me since I was a child. When I moved out of my parents house and in with my ex we celebrated every once in awhile, and after we had kids we went years without celebrating anything. Some of it was cause we were away from his family and not talking to mine, but some of it I just didn’t understand why we didn’t celebrate until now. I was rummaging around the internet when I came across an article called 5 Reasons Why Narcissistic People Love to Ruin Birthday’s and Holiday’s. After reading the article it really hit me like a ton of bricks and makes so much sense now. It also plays into how I moved away from having an altar, practicing my craft, I moved away from making my stuff, and mostly why I moved away from celebrating Sabbats and my beliefs.
One of the things that stood out to me in the article was when it talks about how they feel empowered by turning the time of joy and happiness into a time of suffering and tears. This is so true. I cant remember how many times a Sabbat or birthday was sabotaged by him. Honestly it got to were I didn’t wanna celebrate anymore. I eventually got to where Sabbats and birthdays were just another day. Mother’s Day????? What is that????? Never heard of it before! Let’s see last Mother’s Day that we celebrated would have been in 2010. The year after I had my son. We went out to the movies and dinner. The last time I have celebrated Valentine’s Days was 2012. Honestly I don’t think we ever celebrated my birthday. I had a friend make me a birthday cake years ago but that was it. Lastly Yule one of my all time favorite Sabbats. I haven’t celebrated since 2016. My ex always found a way of ruining it or sabotaging the money so we couldn’t buy things. So this statement about turning happiness and joy to tears and sorrow really fits. It has also made my expectations next to nothing when it comes to Sabbats and birthdays.
The article also talks about how Narcissists don’t like intimacy. Holidays require them to build bonds with people and care and be responsible for others. When narcissists are put in these situations it causes them to have anxiety. Anxiety makes them vulnerable and they cant be vulnerable. When they are put into these situations their fight or flight kicks in and they either leave or ruin it for everyone. This also explains my ex’s actions. He would always ruin them and I finally got to the point of why celebrate them. I now see this as me giving up and him winning. I threw away what I believed in and loved to do for someone that was actually trying to break me.
Next it talks about how they lack empathy. This is another reason they don’t want to celebrate, but that also ties into the next topic about making everything about them. They don’t care if the attention is good or bad they want the attention on them. They get jealous and envious of other people celebrating these events. They also love misery and love to share it wherever they go. They also get their high from disappointing you. If you get super excited from planning on going somewhere they will come in and pull the rug our from under you.
My ex did a great job ruining my fun with Holidays. He did such a good job that I often find myself super excited and then at the last moment I am like nah I am not going to do it. I have became a self sabotaging bystander. But, here is the best part I am moving on and I found someone that will celebrate with me and be patient with me. Yesterday we celebrated our first Thanksgiving. I had so much fun. It was missing a few people, but they had other plans. It was actually my first Holiday that I have celebrated in many many years but also it was Our First Thanksgiving!
I hope all of you guys have a Happy Holiday!
Love
💋Kitten🐈⬛
