Being a pleaser is good and bad. It all depends on the person you are with! Are they a pleaser also or are they a taker? In this blog I am going to talk about a past relationship where I (a pleaser) was paired up with a taker and I am also going to talk about my current situation where I am paired up with another pleaser. I also want to hit different aspects of the relationship. Being a pleaser or a taker isn’t just in the bedroom, but financially, emotionally, and physically. The biggest thing I have noticed is a pleaser cares and a taker doesn’t care at all. A pleaser is about everyone else’s needs where a taker is only about their needs.
So with my ex he was a taker. Everything revolved around him. Financially everything revolved around his wants and his needs and not the family’s wants and needs. He spent money and didn’t care about the bills to keep the house afloat either and it would be random money he spent. Honestly emotionally and physically are about the same. They are tied together and affect each other. I feel like physical touch helps emotional feelings. If you are crying or stressed, a physical hug can help. My ex never did any of those things, but would want it from me if he was in pain, crying, etc. I was emotionally drained a lot of times because I always was giving, but never receiving.
Now onto sexual. I was hardly ever pleased and it became more frequent over the last two or three years. Whenever we did stuff it was for his pleasure not mine. The other part of being a taker is that you don’t care how the other person feels you want yourself to be taken care of. There were many times after I had major surgery he wanted me to please him even if it hurt me. He even ripped me some where my internal stitches were one time. Now I know this borders abuse which was also a problem in our relationship, but the point is he didn’t care about my needs he just wanted to take. With me being a pleaser this was easy for him the control.
Now with Daddy we are both pleasers. The best part of us both being pleasers is that we take care of each other needs. Physical touch is something we both want and crave. It can be anything from cuddling in bed to cuddling on the couch, kisses and hugs, to playing with hair. Sometimes physical touch can even be grabbing of my hair, smacking my ass or grabbing his ass, but it is always reciprocated which is nice and makes us both feel wanted. On the emotional side we always have each other. No matter what is going on with the other person we always help each other get through it. We never leave each other high and dry or make the other person feel like crap for how they are feeling. We support each other through the lows and celebrate the highs. The best part is when it comes to sexual needs we always take care of the other.
There have been times when I have given Daddy oral and made him cum and he would feel bad that he didn’t do anything to get me off (the pleaser in him was upset lol) but me being able to take care of that need for him benefits me. I love doing that for him like it makes me super happy. Makes me feel wanted and needed. I have never been more happy or excited to please someone like this either which makes my heart feel even better. On the flip side there are times he pleases me, but doesn’t get off. It is a balance. Ultimately we both take care of each other in all ways which is something I am not used to, but I have learned there are a lot of things that I like to do now that I am with someone that actually reciprocates the love, attention, etc that I never used to enjoy.
After all the years I wasted being with a taker I am glad I finally am with someone who cares for me the same way I care for him.
Love,
💋Kitten🐈⬛
